The difficult path to move forward

I'm all stressed out !!!!! I consider today as a bad day for me and I'm all stressed out! Maybe I've woke up from the wrong side of the bed.. I don't know.. sigh..... Feel like screaming out loud.. AAAARRGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Waking up this morning it seems as normal as each day I 've been through. But the thought of a good sunny day clouded with a single call from my colleague.

"Emm.. , saya nak tanya la pasai research you ari tuh .. camana yer, dah lulus semua ke. tengah buat ke dah siap."

"Oooo research tu, tengah on going, tengah buat tapi consent sumer dah lulus dah, satu tuh tinggal analise data satu agi tuh next month collect patient samples. Naper Dr?

"Takder ari tuh saya pegi meeting 4P pastuh diorang mcam blur jer, saya pun saja laa tanya."

"Susahnyer, saya cuma nak daftar jer geran semua pun dah ada. Takkan tuh pun susah"

"Takder lah tak susah.."

End of conversation!

But deep inside me I just can't let it go. I need to know more details regarding what is he talking about. What is the problem and why is it so difficult for me to get through just the matter of registering my research. Still trying to think possitive I called up 4P, the department incharge.

"Hello Liza 4P yer.. Saya nak tanya pasal projek saya yang saya nak daftarkan ari tu, ada apa apa masalah ke?"

"Hmm.. pasal projek tu kiter dah masukkan dalam meeting untuk proses akuan sahaja, tapi Datuk TNC tetiba suruh semua lecturer yang mohon nih untuk tuliskan dalam format FRGS la pulak, dia kata nak biasakan lecturer."

"Tapi saya bukan nak mintak geran FRGS lagipun ari tuh tak bagitau mender nih."

"Tulaaa tuh tetiba masa meeting tu dia baru cakap, takpa kitorang cuba mintak yang kali nih dilepaskan tengok macammana. Kalau kena isi pun kita akan masukkan dalam mesyuarat khas untuk cepatkan proses."

"Laaa.. kenapa macam ni pulak, saya kecewa laa keadaan macam ni, saya masuk dengan ada research sekali dan saya diberitahu proses untuk confirmation pun bergantung kepada research, tapi bila saya ada research dan dapat geran luar pihak uni macam tak sokong pulak. Camana leh jadik camtuh."

"Takpa laa nanti kiter cuba sort out tengok macammana ye, mender nih tak confirm agi."

"Ok apa apa bgtau saya, tenkiu.."

End of a frustrating conversation!

Can you imagine how this world work! Why do we have to make things complicated... when there's easier root to follow? Why are we trying to burden people with unnecessery things when there are other main concerns. Why are we closing our eyes to the benefits brought just to satisfy unnecessary intentions! Why do Malays aren't helping Malays when other races are trying their best to push their own race to the front.

You conclude yourself!

my day is as gloomy as the night

Looking at the world through the eyes of our children

"Hadis Abu Syuraih Al-Khuza'iy r.a: Nabi s.a.w bersabda: Sesiapa yang beriman kepada Allah dan Hari Akhirat, maka hendaklah dia berbuat baik kepada jiran tetangganya. Sesiapa yang beriman kepada Allah dan Hari Akhirat, maka hendaklah dia memuliakan para tetamunya. Sesiapa yang beriman kepada Allah dan Hari Akhirat, maka hendaklah dia bercakap hanya perkara yang baik atau diam" Quote and unquote

Last 2006 I moved to an apartment in Klang, it is a nice yet confy house for me and my family but the only limitation is we didn't have any neighbour. After 1 year longing for a neighbour, alast Allah granted my wish. Very happy to see that they are young Malay couple with a daughter aged just like my first son, I tried to be as friendly as possible to them. I tried to create a topic to talk to and even trying not to miss smiling whenever we bump into each other. But it seems rather weird.. my hospitality seems to be unwelcomed. At first I tried to be very positive, so I thought maybe they were still in the stage of adapting with the new environment but then the situation continues until today. Even when we are in the lift together they prefered not to chat nor even look at us. Well that's it! I think ,, enough trying and no more mr nice for you. So I let it be and play along the game of silence that they created.

Few months back, when I was just about to go to work, their daughter was infront of the house watching my every steps, I used to choose no to look at their territory but who could resist a child's eye. I looked at her just to see that she's actually redied with a smile and been waiting for me to look at her and smile back. My heart melt seeing her and she even say hi to me in her own baby talk, I waved at her and she giggled happily. While walking, I realized that the smile is still locked at my lips and she made me starts the day with a warm hearted.

Last week, my mother in law spent one week at my house just to assure that my new maid is doing all the chores as she should be. When my m.i.l brought both auni and arif out just to play at the playground, it was just in time that my neighbour had opened her gate to go out, her daughter ran out to my son Arif, and tried to play with my son. My son as ussual was very happy seeing someone his age. The girl called her "Abang .. abang..." and my son is smiling very happy to meet new friend. But then the mother came and just took her daughter away without even saying hi to my m.i.l. That was so impolite! Again.. listening to my M.i.l story, deep inside I can imagine that, even how the adults react unmaturedly, for the kids I believed that from my son's eye he didn't see the girl next door as a daughter to a cocky mom and dad, but he only sees her as a friend. And even greater, aside from the parents trying to isolate their child from the others in the neighbourhood, their daughter is sending the message to everyone that she has a warm heart and she is sending her love to everyone with just a simple smile.

Thinking back of all the sequel of events happened..I'm so lucky because as a parent I have the ability to see the world through my child's eyes. Most of us are guilty of not taking the time to truly appreciate it. But, every once in a while our children will exhibit the characteristics of discovery loud enough for us to stop and take notice. This time it happens to me and I silently promise I will try not to give up hope and our morale values just for a very selfish reason. Thank you kids! If only the children can spread their love loud enough for the world to listen.. the world would be a better place for us to live in.....

I've started the semester at my new uni with lectures to the dental students. They are good students, everyone seems really interested in the subject and even better they were very active in my few previous classes. Hopefully their exam result will be as good.

My daily routines nowadays are so hectic! Eventhough I tried my best to put everything on schedule so that I won't be missing out anything but still there's a lot of things to do. Aside from lecturing, practical sessions, tutorials sessions bla bla bla.. I haven't settled the exam questions and also the tutorial questions...Oh my oh my ... And yet the research is also starting off.. we will start collecting patients next month! The presentations for previous research will also be coming soon, this november and disember but the the final submission date for completed extended abstract is by early next month!!! Arghh... my brain is like cramped by all the thinking need to be done!

Ok better start doing it this instance!