Ramadhan Al-Mubarak

The coming week will be the sacred month for muslimin and muslimat all over the world. Alhamdulillah .. being blessed with another ramadhan, syukur.. This year's Ramadhan I pledge to myself, I will try my best to fill it with ibadah, Ammin. Looking back all the previous Ramadhans that I've been through I realize how neglegance I am towards the month full of blessing!

My pledge for this Ramadhan insyaAllah:

1. Khatam Qur an

2. Not skipping the tarawih..

3. No gossiping

Well only 3 pledges I can think of at the moment. Cannot put too much on the pledges.. hehehe scared if I can't fulfill it.

In the name of Allah, the most Merciful, the most Kind
A blessed month is casting its shadow upon us

A night of this month is better than a thousand months

Bear with patience for the sake of Ar-Rahman

It's a continuous training to strengthen our Imaan.
Glory be to Allah who sent Ramadan as a mercy to mankind

Its a purification of our soul, our heart, and our mind

With the most sincere devotion and love we fast

To be cleansed and free from sins of the past
Glorified is He, who choseth this holy month,

To test our patience and fill our hearts with warmth

Of his Divine Light, His blessings shall glow,

The Seer of the unseen, all He does know
Ya Allah! For thee, let my breath be more pleasant than musk

Ya Allah! For thee, let me be thankful when day turns to dusk

My thoughts and heart are purified, my eyes truly see

'This blessed month, the month of spiritual rhapsody!
Ya Allah! For thee, my life I shall live!

Ya Allah! For thee, my soul I shall give!In the name of Allah, the most Merciful, the most Kind,Praise be to Allah, who sent Ramadan as a gift to mankind

(Adapted from Ya Ramadhan by Noor Syed)

Don't you just understand?

'Tomorrow i still don't have to go to work since the schedule stated I'm not involve with any surgery!' Told my dear hubby.

'Ok, then have fun .. you are considered on leave .. heheheh' I giggled responded to his exciting news.

'It had been three days staying at home, I'm bored.. what if I accompany you to your office and I can study there..' He responded.

I kept quiet thinking, I have doubt that he might get bored but the thought of having someone to talk at the office and having my beloved ones closed by my side is so intriguing. Furthermore he is the one that suggested it..

'Ok, up to you but what if you got bored, I suggest you bring along another laptop for you just in case you got bored' I responded back trying to be as supportive as possible.

After further discussion I agreed for him to come along and since he is going for his overnight locum, I'm okay with going to the office a little bit later then ussual in order to wait for him.

This morning I woke up at 5 as ussual, took my sahur and cleaned my room, I chose the best outfit that I can think of, well I want to look pretty if walking beside my hubby.. I'm not sure why but the idea that he wanted to come to work with me is making me happy. I waited and waited, at 7.30 he arrived home.

'Eh why are you still here?' he asked.

'Well.. I'm waiting for you,'

'Haven't you received my message? '

Then I stood up seeking for my hp, by then I realized he just sms me at 6.30 that he is not going with me because he wanted to stay home. I'm not sure why but the sms did break my heart. he should be more sensitive about his wife, at least give a call to assure that I got the message. I've wasted my time just to wait for him when I can just go to work as early as I used to do! It may seem simple but it is not! I rushly took my handbag and before going out to work I said to him :

'Thank you for doing this to me'

But while driving I regret saying that to him .. I just want him to know that I'm really hurt.. that's all! I love him so much yet the simplest thing hurt so bad.

I arrived at the office trying to be as positive as possible after what happened at home. But I'm just not in the mood. While writing this blog suddenly I got a call from UKM, my former Uni where I got my masters from. Its regarding the RM 750! Before this UKM told me that I've overpaid my study fees. Happy knowing that I'll be having extra RM750 end of this month, I've in mind of how I'm going to spend it. But again I've got my heart broke for the second time in the same day hearing that they called to tell they have made a mistake because they actually haven't updated the final fees! Ya Allah dah setahun maaaa!!!! UKM management sucks!

So I'm really not in the mood today and here I am at the office but writing for my blog and not doing my work!! Hopefully things will get better after this.

The certificate of life

As it is compulsary, I went for an award giving ceremony, the VIP who gave the opening speech talked about the increasing cost of life. Bla bla bla babble babble babble inclusively or I'd rather say exclusively regarding how the government have spent so much money on assuring the jails in Malaysia is good enough catering all the criminals and the best part was he mentioned that the inmates are 60% foreigners. I'm not sure which part of the speech is related with yesterdays' ceremony but then summarizing all he said we as proffesionals should reduce the cost for everything to help the government easen the burden and in order to do so, we should reduce our expenses on going to 'irrelavent' courses. The so call irrelavent courses include management courses and other courses that I myself is not clear which course is relavent and which is not! We don 't need certificate and formal training to make us capable, that is what he mentioned.
But...... back to what happen in real life...
Situation one:
"Camana nak bagi you kompom jawatan.. pi kursus pun malas"
Situation two:
"Boss kenapa I cannot be considered for the promotion. Kenapa dia dapat pulak dapat kenaikan, kitorang punya kelayakan sama aper.."
"Oh yes, regarding that, he is more qualified because he had undergone the ..... course, I know you are as good but still the cert tu orang top management nak tengok.."
Eventhough I just made up the situations above, but still that is what happen in the real life today. We are being pressure to keep our life simple but yet we are being judged by the number of certs that we have. So where's actually our value?

Overcoming challenges

You gain strength, courage and confidence in every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing you think you cannot do.

eleanor roosevelt

Wise man?

Wise man says only fools rush in and I can't help falling in love with you.... Quote and unquote. Wise man says this.. wise man says that.. bla bla bla .. I'm not trying to be a pesimist but does a wise man really exist in this world.. How are we defining wise anyway? Come on ... After analyzing most quotations from either my friends or the people I know, I conclude that ussually we are using this quotation of wise man says.... when we think we agrees in part of what he is saying. So, do the people that we think is right is considered as wise, what about the people who gives opinion that is not inline with us, what about that? Are they wise too... so eventhough the definition of wise is 'Having knowledge; knowing; enlightened; of extensive information; erudite; learned.' I believed that people including of even myself will have our own definition on who is wise and who is not... Confusing huh...

The gloom within me

I'm seeking for words of wisdom to be shared by a wise person to overcome my doubts and the indecisive within me. But who is that wise person?